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I have a problem with my 150 yr old neighbor; ok he’s not that old but he is a carport hog! Every time I pull in to park he is over on my side and I have to practically rub the pole in order to slide in next to him!

His front tires are not pointed forwards but they are pointed towards my side just taunting me to say something. I am afraid of getting crows feet and lip wrinkles for all the squinting and narrowing of my eyes and curling my lips in anger every time I see the man! Let me explain.

When I first moved into this apartment complex it was so nice. I have the downstairs unit, nice size patio and back yard that I share with the other tenants. The only people that lived here when I moved in were the upstairs renters so no one lived right next door yet.

I had all the privacy, tranquility and peace that anyone could ask for. It was perfect. That all changed the day Buffalo moved in.

(Inserts music theme from Sanford and Son!)
Redneck truck

The once clean carport of yesteryear is now full of junk he collects out of people’s garbage cans, I know because I have rode by him in my van and caught him doing it.

The thing about it is, the junk is not even good stuff but broken down dressers, lawn chairs and kids toys that even the island of misfit toys wouldn’t want.

I pulled in one time and he had this little toy basket ball hoop with a doll that had only one eye hanging out of it’s head inside of the hoop! It was on my side of the carport! For crying out load that was F$%^ing creepy!

Not only this, but you have to go from the carport to my side of the yard to get to his patio and low and behold there is more junk outside his backdoor! I feel like I live next door to Fred and Lamont! GRRRRR!!!

redneck carport

The landlord sent out letters telling everyone to make sure our areas are clean and Fred..I mean Buffalo ignores it and does whatever he wants. I am looking for a new place to live.
Man it feels good to Bitch!

On a positive note my air conditioner is fixed and it is nice and cool.

Until next time bye