Hellooooo Xanga!!!! I have been locked out of my account and finally got in 🙂 Don’t you just hate it when that happens..I know damn well I typed my passcode correctly and every damn time it says I have to wait 30 to 45 minutes!!!! I emailed that help support joke thingy they have going to divert us from the truth, there is no help were on our own, ok maybe I am going a little overboard but I was madder then a wet hen….I was threatening to go to another blog site oh yeah I was pullin out the BIG GUNS! I think there techs might just look like AOLs
“Ethan and I met in Junior High school, where he and his friends used to beat up me and my friends. He didn’t stop until one day I warned him that if he didn’t sell his Faberge Egg collection before spring of that year, he was going to be stuck with a whole lot of worthless crap that wouldn’t even make a decent tacky jewel-encrusted omelet.”
“Did he sell them?” asked Edward.
“No,” replied LOBO. “And sure enough, a few months later, he took a bath in those things too. But by that time, I was long gone.”
“Gone? What happened?”
“Well, firstly, my band took off. Vaginal Slide didn’t really get much local traction, but we were huge in the Galapagos Islands. Monsters in Guatemala. Heard of us? ‘Red Hot Chocolate’ was our big one:
’Don’t play like it’s no sacrilege
that I got a rolls of toilet paper in my freezer, my fridge,
Farting, sharting stuff from Hell,
I oughta sue the balls offa Taco Bell
It’s searing through my anus like an acid blowtorch
You can smell burnin flesh even on the front porch!
Red Hot Chocolate, screamin in the night
If Ida been a second later, Ida arc-welded my tailpipe
Red Hot Chocolate, five gallons deep,
If Ida been a second later I woulda melted my Jeep—‘
“Is that the one that Pat Boone remade?” asks Edward.
“No. He remade our song ‘The Ayatollah of Areola’. And ballads and love songs were huge that year, so he made a bundle. He later stiffed us on the royalties and the writing credit.”
“Did you sue?”
“Couldn’t.” replies LOBO. “By that time the band had split up; dead musicians are notoriously unreliable. I think it’s cuz we never could seem to get any airplay. And then the music industry changed. It wasn’t like today where you ride a $1,000 bicycle to Barnes and Nobles, drinking $6 coffees and then stiff the store on the $10 book.” LOBO pounds his hand on the dash. “We had suicide doors, steel dashboards and Vietnam to weed them fucks out. Now all we got is Metallica.“ He fishes around for the radio knob, and switches it to ‘off’. “You know what sucks about the Porsche 911 GT3?”
We both shake our heads.
“Just try and get one with an 8-track player,” he says. “The dealers just look at you like you’re completely crackers.” He lights another cigarette. “So where was I? Oh yeah … I was complaining about my life story. Nowadays it’s all seat belts and warning labels and lawsuits. Hell, I remember waitresses on roller skates with big-ass hair and no helmet, bringing Thalidomide-flavored fries out to your car in an asbestos crate, all the while stabbing Jets and Sharks left and right with her switchblade during the musical number ‘cuz her numb chucks were confiscated.”
“So what happened with the band?” asks Edward, trying to get him back on track.
“Vaginal Slide was on tour for our Fists of Furry record in Escuintla, and President Alfonso Portillo –big fan—flew us out to do some live recording at his palace. Who would have thought he would pick then to decide to have our lyrics translated? Turns out he gets so offended for some reason, he orders us all rounded up and executed. With phony papers and disguised as Nelson Mandela’s brother, I narrowly escaped.”“Nelson Mandela’s brother,” I says incredulously.
“Yeah. Frank Mandela. You know, the one that drives the Camaro?”
“Go on,” says Edward.
To be continued…….
The Odd and Quirky News
Chinese surgeons ‘succeed’ with sex organ transplant
SURGEONS in China say they carried out the world’s first penis transplant.
The doctors claim the operation was a success – even though the organ was later removed when the patient and his wife suffered “psychological problems”. The surgery was carried out at Guangzhou General Hospital on a 44-year-old man whose penis was severed in an accident.
The donor was a 22-year-old man who was brain-dead.
Surgical details, involving connecting blood vessels and nerve ends, are described in the journal European Urology.
The patient was given suppressant drugs to prevent his body rejecting the organ.
The doctors said: “The recipient could urinate smoothly in a standing position at day ten, after removal of the catheter.”
However, after 14 days the transplanted penis was cut off because of “a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife”. Despite this, the medical team claim the transplant was a success because it showed no signs of being rejected by the patient’s body.
I agree with the commenter that said…..This story is a little hard to swallow!! hehehe…..Until next time bye 🙂